Stressing yourself out of the moment

Maybe you can relate… Have you ever been somewhere on vacation but you can’t really remember much of anything? Details are foggy and remembrances are vague, but you were not under the influence of alcohol or anything other than stress.  Well, I’ve been there and frankly I don’t recommend it. If you read to the end, I’ll offer a few suggestions on how to vacation with less stress. But first, the story and why this topic came up.

I was walking around a small rural cemetery just this past weekend. I was looking for my mother’s headstone and initially I couldn’t find it. That was frustrating, because of course, I had stood at that very gravesite. I tried to think back, but the day she was buried was a complete blur. I was present, I know that, but stress had taken my mind out of the equation, somewhere less painful, I fathom. I can genuinely remember very little about that day, with clarity except for my uncle making a smart remark about my choice of footwear, my Grandmother playing the piano at the reception hall, the candle blowing out at the alter and feeling my mom’s presence when I hugged my great aunt. But where the gravesite was, in the small rural cemetery, I lacked any remembrances.

I sometimes feel this way, overwhelmed with stress, when I travel. Maybe you do too? There is so much planning and pressure and money riding on having a great trip, doing everything on your list and capturing every moment with a photo that it’s easy to lose sight of what’s going on in the moment. Sometimes there’s so much damn pressure that you just mentally check out.

So, how do we fix this and be more PRESENT and CAPABLE in the moment and able to enjoy our hard earned vacations more?  I definitely don’t have all the answers, but I can make a few suggestions. I invite your comments and suggestions as well. Tell me what works for you.

  1. Delegate. Maybe one of your kids could be the official trip photographer? Take something off your responsibility list, anything.
  2. Stop making lists and “must-do” plans just because some stranger on an Internet forum said “this is the BEST restaurant in Alabama and you’ll never know BBQ if you don’t eat here!”
  3. Schedule free time. Yes, actually. Plan an afternoon or even a day of nothing. Free time where you can follow your whims and just be in the moment. Or even sleep in and get the rest your body and brain craves.
  4. Sit and eat and talk to your companions. No phones allowed at the table.
  5. Make tangible connections. That can be with a person, place or thing. Just make sure to pause long enough so that you can genuinely connect.
  6. Remember that things don’t have to be perfect, to be perfectly wonderful!